25 November 2010
Ideal `ORKUT' profile of a Software Engineer,....funny!?
About me:
I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not.
I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok…I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me–> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship status : What?
Birthday : The day my Project Leader is about to fire me.
Age : 101111111111
Here for: Web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : The guy sitting beside me is a pig!
Humor : Daily in office hrs visiting sites like funtoosh
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag
Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Living : Come on, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a Software engineer? Believe me, I am living!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage : naukri.com, jobsahead.com, hotjobs.com – Isn't it Ultimate???
Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.
Sports: Quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities : Are you crazy?
Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored
Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing or doesn't make sense.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi but anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle!
I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not.
I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone to make me live !! Ok…I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (For all those who know me–> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship status : What?
Birthday : The day my Project Leader is about to fire me.
Age : 101111111111
Here for: Web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion : I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : The guy sitting beside me is a pig!
Humor : Daily in office hrs visiting sites like funtoosh
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag
Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Living : Come on, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a Software engineer? Believe me, I am living!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage : naukri.com, jobsahead.com, hotjobs.com – Isn't it Ultimate???
Passions : searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.
Sports: Quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities : Are you crazy?
Books : "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored
Music : Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing or doesn't make sense.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi but anything available within 200 meters of my cubicle!
Software Engineer Husband and Wife Chat
Husband - hey dear, I am logged in.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card,
i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to
Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your
Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will
Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.
Wife - would you like to have some snacks?
Husband - hard disk full.
Wife - have you brought the saree.
Husband - Bad command or file name.
Wife - but I told you about it in morning
Husband - erroneous syntax, abort, retry, cancel.
Wife - hae bhagwan !forget it where's your salary.
Husband - file in use, read only, try after some time.
Wife - at least give me your credit card,
i can do some shopping.
Husband - sharing violation, access denied.
Wife - i made a mistake in marrying you.
Husband - data type mismatch.
Wife - you are useless.
Husband - by default.
Wife - who was there with you in the car this morning?
Husband - system unstable press ctrl, alt, del to
Reboot.
Wife - what is the relation between you & your
Receptionist?
Husband - the only user with write permission.
Wife - what is my value in your life?
Husband - unknown virus detected.
Wife - do you love me or your computer?
Husband - Too many parameters.
Wife - i will go to my dad’s house.
Husband - program performed illegal operation, it will
Close.
Wife - I will leave you forever.
Husband - close all programs and log out for another User.
Wife - it is worthless talking to you.
Husband - shut down the computer.
Wife - I am going
Husband - Its now safe to turn off your computer.
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